Confessions of an “Avid” golfer

Three months of practice for a three day trip in which I shot some of the best golf of my life and three weeks later I put my clubs in the attic.  Why?  Why would I, an avid golfer, want to walk away from the game?  I lost my swing.

We have all heard those four words at one time in our life, if you’re lucky.  The rest of us have had to actually utter the words.  Top level professionals have even experienced this phenomenon.  What causes someone who hits balls every day to one day wake up without his swing?  I can only speak from experience, and I HAVE NO IDEA.

I’ve played golf for about 10 years and I’ve been seriously pursuing it for about a year.  I love the art, the history, the physics, and the pure feel of a well struck shot.  It wasn’t until this year that I understood the golf swing to help me achieve the latter.  I came about this understanding after finally finding a pro that understood my swing.  He gave me a few things to work on, and one goal to achieve…move my divot forward (things I worked on: Don’t sway, use a stronger grip, and feel like I’m stopping my backswing with my left arm parallel to the ground).  I was able to achieve this in only seven days, but it was hard work.  I sat around the house with a club in my hand practicing my grip.  I spent 30 minutes each day looking at a mirror and trying to develop a feel for not swaying and stopping my backswing short.  Finally, I quit going to the range and took to a field by my house.  I did this not to hit ball but to work it out in the dirt.

I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, “the secrets in the dirt,” well.. it is, or it was for me.  I spend the rest of my free time digging patches of grass out of the field until I was able to move my divot in front of the line I made in the grass.  Not having a ball to focus on I was able to solely focus on my swing and feel.  I noticed that the lighter the grip (and if I maintained that light grip though out the swing), the further my divot moved forward.  When I did finally go back to the range I noticed a tremendous difference.  I was striking the ball more solidly than I ever had in my life.  It felt different, it sounded different and it flew a lot different.  The ball was laser straight.  After years of lessons and playing, I had finally found my swing.  I saw better scores instantly.  I was suddenly having birdie chances.  The funny thing was that I was doing it with a lot less effort.  Now to trust this new swing was the next task.

The first day of our trip I was so nervous that I really embarrassed myself.  I wasn’t trusting my swing.  My driver was cold and I wouldn’t stop pulling it.  I lost, at least, a couple boxes of balls over the 36 holes.  I put myself in a bad position off the tee and then I tried to make some impossible shots to try and make up the shots.  All the things I had read and studied and practiced were out the window.  There was nothing Zen about the state of mind I was in.  I tried to draw on every piece of advice I received and every drill I has worked on and nothing was working.  I eventually just tucked my tail and longed for what would be the best part of the day, the ride home.  I went to bed humiliated and ready for the trip to be over, with two more days of golf ahead of me.  Day two proved to be a whole new me.

Determined not to embarrass myself I pulled my 4 hybrid on the first tee and swung easy, keeping in mind the light grip.  The sound I heard surprised me and my pairing.  The ball pierced the air and was the laser straight ball I had seen on the range back home.  You’ve heard if it works, work it and I did.  I kept the grip light on every shot and every club.   I was so confident on every swing which bled over to my short game and my putting.  I hit a 40 footer for birdie.  The next hole I flew the green up on a hill overlooking a front to back sloping green.  The ball was gone no matter what shot I chose.  Coming off a birdie hole I decided to get creative, flop the ball short onto the fringe and hopefully it wouldn’t roll of the front of the green.  The shot couldn’t have worked out better, the ball came out clean and trickled right down the hill close to the hole, then the unthinkable happened…it went in.  We arrived back at the house and I couldn’t have been happier.  I had the low round of the day and a confidence about my swing that I had never felt.  The last day started out the same.  I was even through 4 and then I let a bad shot set in and get me off my game.  However, I was still striking the ball well on most shots so I was satisfied with the day.

I came home wanting to take a few day off, having played 90 holes in three days.  After a couple days I ventured back to the range and it was like I never left.  The driver was still cold but the irons were pure.  I was on a high, not even a few days could stop me.  So long 90’s for good, now on to low 80’s.  I was so excited that I went out to the range again after work, but this time…this time was different.  I couldn’t hit one ball straight.  I hit well over 100 balls and I couldn’t hit anything.  This had happened to me before and I worked it out before the bucket was empty.  Something was different though, this time I couldn’t fix it.  So I did what any golfer would do, I got another bucket.  Instead of fixing it, it got worse.  I tried everything.  I drew on the basics I worked on with my pro and nothing worked.  How could I have come off my best golf and lost my swing?  All of my hard work was gone.  Mentally and physically drained, I quit.  I came home and took the clubs out of my truck (formerly a no no, my clubs were my American Express).  I unfollowed all my golf twitter feeds, deleted my podcasts, tossed my magazines and put all my golf books away.  I quit.  I’m not proud of my actions, but I was finished, or so I thought.

In my exasperation I contacted Golficity and even told them I quit.  I thanked them for their correspondence and cancelled my scheduled appearance on The Golf Podcast.  I told Frank, the show host, that I appreciated them publishing my previous article on the physics of the flight of the golf ball, but that I didn’t feel right appearing on the podcast if my heart wasn’t in the material.  Frank emailed me back graciously accepting my podcast cancellation but expressing concern about me leaving the game.  He shared some of his experience with golf swing struggles and encouraged me to reconsider leaving the game.  I took some time to consider his advice   I didn’t want to listen because I was so frustrated and I didn’t want to put in all that work again.  I had lost it and I was finished with the game and its struggles.  Franks advice won out in the end.

I took a couple days off and went back to the range, still nothing.  I had so many thought going through my head as I took each swing that my swing didn’t even feel remotely like my own.  I couldn’t find it, my swing would have to be rebuild which meant more money and more practice, both of which I no longer wanted to give.  I had the knowledge from my studies.  I had shared advice with friends and even written an article on ball flight that was published, now I was all washed up and looking like a fool.  To add insult to injury I played in a tournament that I had committed to months before.  Yep, you guessed it, a fool.

I read Frank’s email again, and I started to draw on the podcast I had listed to from Golficity.  I reached out and let him know he was right and I swallowed my pride and accepted an invitation to play 9 holes with a couple friends.  A few nights before I went outside and started swinging.  I wanted to try and get my feel back.  I swung and swung until I started feeling normal again.  Reluctantly I showed up to the course a few min before tee-off and hit a few balls.   Wow, the first ball was pure and straight.  I chalked it up to luck and swung again…straight.  Laughing as I hit ball after ball straight I walked to the tee.

Pulling the driver I started talking to myself, “this is stupid, stupid, stupid.”  I had nothing to lose so I took my grip, thinking, “light grip dummy, light constant grip.”  I stopped my swing at parallel and swung easy.  Whack…down the middle.  Uh sure, whatever, just lucky I thought.  I continued to play the best round I had played since the trip.  How was this happening?  A guy who all but announced to the world that he had quit was playing like nothing ever happened.  I had parred three of the first six holes and lipped out one that would have given me my 4th par in six holes.

I found my swing again and I’m grateful to Frank for his correspondence.  Golficity isn’t just all talk, they really do have a love of the game and are tremendous ambassadors.  I look forward to continuing my research and writing articles from an amateurs perspective.  I hope this confession will help others who are frustrated and experiencing some swing issues.

The moral here is not to give up.  Take a few days and see if your muscles will forget whatever fault you allowed into your swing.  Sometimes it will fix itself but if you find yourself stuck, consult a pro and check out the podcast.

Cover Photo by Visit Finland on Flickr