An Epidemic: The Obnoxious Golfer

Photo by Duncan Kinney on Flickr.

We’ve all seen him at least once and we could all spot him again from a mile away.  If not for the on-course antics it’s usually for the off-the-course arrogance.  Not to mention the attire, the almost criminally awkward passes at the cart girl, and the neon colored alignment aids.

Whether it was on the course, at the range, or in the clubhouse after a round, we’ve all had the misfortune of encountering ‘the Obnoxious Golfer’ at least once.  Having played competitive junior golf in my high school years, I had the personal displeasure of interacting with up-and-coming golf douches of all ages and skill levels.  For the most part, they were usually good kids that had been showered with the latest equipment by their wealthy parents, and over-inflated with praise from their swing coaches and similar, that made them feel future success in the game was inevitable.  When their rounds didn’t get off to the start they wanted, most of these kids would lose it, just as the Obnoxious Golfer at your club does.  I once saw a 16-year-old hide behind his golf bag and cry after topping his opening tee shot short of the fairway.  Part of me felt bad for him, part of me wanted to laugh.

Regardless of whether your encounter with him has been a mere passing in the locker room, or a full-fledged argument over why his foursome can’t play up on every single Par 3, we share a common bond in the fight against this epidemic.  It’d be difficult to trace the lineage of Obnoxious Golfers back to the very beginning, but my guess is that they started out – like so many regrettable trends – as someone mistakenly thinking the guy peeling out in his cart looked cool.

Golf is a sport that allows us to show a bit of our own unique personality by the way we choose to play the game.  From the swashbuckling playing partner, to the one that plays the most conservative shot available every time, it’s usually a sign of their preexisting personality.  The Obnoxious Golfer takes the way they imagine a bomb-and-gauge hitter with every wedge shot and flawless putting would act, then apply that to their “golf personality.”

While it isn’t considered proper to judge a book by it’s cover, you can usually tell an Obnoxious Golfer by the clothes they wear.  More importantly however, is the blatantly obvious giveaway of their on-course behavior.  From hurling clubs, to belting profanities for the entire course to hear; these are the true testaments of how obnoxious they really are.

Combating the Obnoxious Golfer is probably not worth your time – but if you can’t resist – the best approach is to avoid giving them the validation and satisfaction of being the guy who attracts Average Joe “haters.”  Let him and his buddies play through, and enjoy the hilarity that will surely ensue for the next couple hours watching from a safe distance.

Cover Photo Credit