Pat Perez Has Too Much Time On His Hands

Professional golfer Pat Perez has been out of action since March after undergoing surgery for a torn labrum.  He’s set to return some time in October, and after seeing this train wreck of a music video, that can’t come soon enough.

“Irons Aren’t Metal” ft. Pat Perez | Official Music Video

A new music video brought to you by a healthy combination of professional golf and heavy metal. Starring PGA golfer Pat Perez.

I’m not even sure where to begin with this thing.

I guess I’ll start with the God awful song.

“The guy with long hair, the guy that don’t care whether the shot lands rough or fair.”

“The way I strike the ball will really touch your soul.”

“But there’s only one club that gets me under the hood.”

These are actual lyrics, sung by some sort of 80’s karaoke reject who looks like Buffalo Bill’s creepier looking stunt double.

Let’s continue…

“Got an attitude, but I don’t mean to be rude. Just tryin’ to golf and be a bad-ass dude.”

Actually, Pat Perez is relatively well known for being one of the more rude and petty guy’s on tour. So I guess maybe that’s a half-right lyric.

That second part though? Sorry, Pat, this video is not helping your cause, whatsoever.

Now let’s jump to whatever Perez is doing at the bridge.

“God of Rock, hear my prayer.”

The God of Rock is apparently a buxom blonde in a Marilyn Monroe-esque dress in which she also answers golf-related prayers. Makes sense.

Perez describes his driver as “the grand-daddy of boom” and “the screaming eagle of the light.” So brutal.

His prayers are apparently answered by a lightning strike from said God of Rock, which transforms him into some kind of Motley Crue cos-play character.

I think the last words on the screen as the song ends sums the whole thing up perfectly.

“Loud explosion”

Yes, please, destroy this. Blow this thing up right now. And keep Pat Perez away from any and all cameras from here on out.

Cover Photo via YouTube