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I’m Still Here – In Defense of Tiger Woods

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One day, I hope to tell my grandchildren about a certain golfing superstar – a man who couldn’t be touched when he was playing, and couldn’t keep his hands to himself when he wasn’t playing.  A man who captivated millions of people around the world, all the while managing to fool, and/or sleep with, millions more.  A man whose ability to score on the course was rivaled only by his ability to score off it.  A man whose “Sunday red” quickly turned to “as red-handed as can be”- whose epic downfall sprung from a lowly mailbox and a massive SUV.  A man who gave me a reason to follow golf and a reason to argue about something sports-related with my wife.  And when these stories get too provocative for my grandkids’ ears, I’ll claim senility.  Because when you reach an age where faking senility is an option, you can do whatever the hell you want.

Tiger, for a while there, the mere thought of David Feherty’s voice coming out of my TV speakers had me on the fringe of, what WedMD diagnosed as, hysteria.  But I want you to know that I forgive you.  Although some of the scars are still healing, I need to make it known that part of me gets it.  You pushed the envelope further than any of your predecessors.  And when you reached the peak of your mountainous career, the lack of oxygen became too much to bear. Yet, people who never even began their ascent were shaming you from down below.  I wonder how they would feel if they were there with you, but they still had such a long way to go.

 

This might come as a surprise to some of our female readers, but men are animals.  All of them.  They all know it too.  Show me the most righteous man in your life, and I’ll show you someone with some long-hidden, deep-seeded, animalistic urges.  Sure, your boyfriend’s faithful.  Good for him.  Golf clap.  Let’s see if that changes when hundreds, I mean HUNDREDS, of beautiful women approach him on a daily basis.

Currently, around 3.5 billion men are living in our world.  Of those, I can only think of one—a certain Chicago Bulls superstar—whose temptations came anywhere near those of Tiger Woods’.  And, guess what?  The other superstar’s marriage didn’t end so well either.  So, by taking a statistician’s approach, we can deduce the following: A couple people (in history) have experienced the same level of attention as Tiger; of those, 100% screwed up.  If I were a betting man, I would say that probability wouldn’t fluctuate much, regardless of the sample size.

 
But, he’s a scumbag!  He has a wife and kids!  Oh really?  He also has a Y chromosome, along with fame, money, pecs for days, and some of the whitest teeth I’ve ever seen.  So let’s not compare an apple to a mutated, 50 pound watermelon.  Let’s practice reason.

I’m not taking a firm stance by Tiger’s side.  The pain that he caused his family may, eventually, be forgiven, but it won’t soon be forgotten.  I’m simply asking the ostracizers to have some compassion.  Not only did Tiger effectively lose his family, his venerability, and his rank as the #1 golfer in the world, he had to endure it all with the entire world watching.  I can’t even parallel park my car when my neighbor’s outside.  As much as his accolades over the years made us wonder if he was, in fact, a human being, take my word for it, he is.  And, despite all of his wrong-doings, he’s still the man that hooked me, and so many others, on the game of golf.  And, for that, the man deserves, at the very least, a second chance.

 
I can only hope that you have a chance to read this, Tiger.  Though you may not be a model father-figure, or husband, you’ll always be one of the strongest contributors to my love for the game.  I can only hope you’ll get up-and-down from this rough patch in your life, and once more show us the Tiger that changed golf forever.  Until then, I’ll be anxiously awaiting the return of your furious fist pumps—hoping to get one more glimpse of my childhood hero.  I just needed you to know, Tiger, some of us are still cheering from the gallery.


Cover Photo via Flickr

Evan has been playing golf for over 20 years.  After countless shanks, hooks, tops, and duffs, he’s still coming back for more.  Why?  It’s simple.  Golf is a fickle analogy for the game of life.  Watch any successful Tour player after a bad shot.  How do they react?  Do they head back to the clubhouse?  Donate their long-iron to the nearest pond?  No. . . they move on to their next shot.  Knowing, with certainty, they’ll get up and down to save par.  Golf is the best game in the world because it teaches us how to live life.

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